Email.Phillysucks.com

From: biggpwnt98@yahoo.com
Subject: Philly doesn’t suck

I can’t believe someone would actually waste thier time making a site like this. Get a life you hater.

From: drivebyvideos@gmail.com
Subject: It does.

Dear Philly Sucks,

I have lived in Philadelphia for the last 4 years. I have come to a few conclusions about why this city fucking sucks:

1. Citizens Of Philadelphia – A good portion of people who are from Philadelphia and currently live there are total fucking morons. Whether is be walking on the street or driving in the car, I have learned and witnessed how stupid they can be. I feel a deep hatred towards the people of the city that was not there when I first moved to Philadelphia. There are so many things I have encountered that made this opinion form that I can not even begin to list them. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about how the people of Philadelphia survive in such a shit hole of a city.

2. Crime – The crime is bad, real bad. I know all cities have crime, but I don’t understand how there is crime in the areas that are marketed as “nice areas”. The criminals must wander the entire city just looking for ways to fuck up other people’s lives without even knowing they are doing it. In the past year while living in Northern Liberties; people have been murdered right down the road from me, a woman was raped in her own house at night by a teenage boy and left for dead, my girlfriend’s car was broken into TWICE in a six month period (the first time was the night the Phillies won the world series and the idiot citizens thought that was an excuse to act like fucking monkies) and then less than a month before my lease was up, my car got stolen. It wasn’t even a great car. It was a 1984 Grand Prix and it cost 300 bucks to buy five years ago. The cops ended up finding it, taking it to the impound and then TRYING TO CHARGE ME 250 DOLLARS TO GET IT BACK! What the fuck kind of logic is that?

Well, the people of our city are fucking animals and they stole your car, sorry. Luckily, we found it but the steering column is destroyed and there is damage to the back end. Oh, and the criminals smoked crack in it too. We got it down at the lot and we are going to charge you to get it out. If you don’t want to pay the fee, we keep your car.

Yes, that is great logic. It really is. The city makes money off of crime like this so there is not reason to fight against crime in the first place. I left my car with the impound because paying the fees plus fixing the steering column would have cost more than it cost to buy the car in the first place.

3. Housing – I have lived in 3 different places during my four years in Philadelphia. I understand that apartments in a city will be expensive, but what does Philadelphia really have to offer that warrants charging over a grand for a shitty studio apartment? The stupid ass liberty bell? The Rocky steps? Ben Franklin’s rotting corpse? Philadelphia is not New York, it does not have anything important there. Why is it impossible to find decent housing? Why are the expensive apartments still shitty as hell? How do all these places even have tenants who are willing to live with rats and roaches, while paying tons of money? Why is every landlord sketchy and only want to fuck you over? Sure, you can find pretty cheap places if you have a few people who want to live with you and split the rent, but then you have to live in a third-world style house in an area where people deal drugs on the sidewalk.

4. PGW – Philadelphia Gas Works is the biggest joke in the city. Again, I understand living in a city is going to be expensive but how is it right to charge 120.00 bucks for a month of gas for a 500 square foot apartment during December? Sure, the heat is at 67F everyday and I take a shower once a day, but you could fuel a fucking house for less than that. On top of that, there is a good chance you get to deposit 400 bucks before you even pay the first month’s bill. I have great credit, they even said so. But, the reason I got to fork out 400 bucks was because I was a first time PGW customer. If you mess up on a single bill for the first 12 months (pay late, not pay at all, pay too little) you lose the whole deposit. I made sure I paid on time, every time and I even have screen caps of each confirmation, knowing damn well the money hungry whores of that shit hole city would try to pull a fast one. Once I left, I had to convince PGW everything was paid on time. I had to show them each receipt because for some reason they had different records. The bank doesn’t lie and they said I would get my deposit back. It has been 2 months so far, no deposit. I just get to keep calling every few days to ask where the fuck it is.

5. Filth & Ugliness – Other than being rated #1 ugliest people in a city, the city of Philadelphia itself is actually a eye sore to look at. Sure, there are a few parks, some statues and even a few trees. But on your way to look at the parks, you are bound to step in a pile of dog shit because the people of this shit hole like to let their dogs shit all over the place and not pick it up. I once stepped in dog shit 4 times in one month. I was not aware that I should be looking down anytime I go on the sidewalk because there is a high chance of stepping in dog shit. The Philadelphia underground has at least a centimeter thick coating of urine, feces and god knows what else. I felt sick every time I was forced underground to ride the subway. When I was down there, I was afraid of getting beaten to death by teenagers, or getting hammered to death on the train while people just watched like it was a everyday thing. The poverty is pretty bad too. At least the bums in Chicago don’t curse at you when you tell them you don’t have any spare change and then throw up right after. The three parks Philadelphia has all smell like pigeon and dog shit because that is what coats all the benches and brick layered ground. There are really only a few blocks in Philadelphia that could be considered “attractive”, the rest is just waste land.

I have never hated a place in our country as much as I hate Philadelphia and the people in it. I hope their baseball team does win the World Series so they find another reason to act like animals and hopefully burn the entire city down. If that happened we could at least start fresh with that area of PA…

Sorry this was so long, I just started thinking about the shit that happened there on a day to day basis while I lived there. Now I feel sick to my stomach. I am glad I am gone.