» Dumb and Ugly Email.Phillysucks.com

By Michael October 2007

Dumb and Ugly

From: mdavis1134@yahoo.com
Subject: Dumb and Ugly

This isn’t exactly sports related, but since Philly
does suck I felt this would be a good post. Because
not only do all Philthadelphia teams suck, the people
in the city are ugly too.

http://nz.entertainment.yahoo.com/071022/5/24y6.html

Paul

That’s because all of the ugly people are killing all of the beautiful people. I better watch my back. Looks like D.C. and Dallas are trying to take this away from Philly too.

In all seriousness, this was a survey of only 60,000 people. Half of these people have probably never even been to Philly, Dallas, and DC (the bottom 3). I could care less because I am neither fat (as it seems Philly ranks top 10 there) or ugly.

This city sucks and I would rank it worst in every category even if it was true or not. So anybody who thinks I am defending Philly or the people in Philly can guess again. This survey just doesn’t deserve the attention it is getting.

Reply
Derf

Paul,
If I had to guess?
Nobody really cares about you, or that genetically challenged shithole called Philly. But, your little hissy fit did bring one question to mind; I wonder if Kevorkian could have used your pathetic autobiography as a means of euthanasia? (I’m assuming it’s possible to bore people to death?)

I think you just might be the whiniest sack of shit I’ve ever known! And here I thought you were an underachiever…

Reply
Paul

Derf,

Once again you reply to an email and only focus on me. Your obsession with me seriously creeps me out. It wouldn’t surprise me if your city was named “gayest” city and you were the spokesperson.

Reply
Derf

Paul,
Got it! So in a nutshell, you’re a whiny little fuck hole desperately in need of an enema. Right then!

“It wouldn’t surprise me if your city was named “gayest” city and you were the spokesperson”
Oh yeah? Well you’re a big poo poo head! LOL!!!

Reply
Paul

What is it with you and enemas?

Reply
Derf

Maybe you’d prefer some other form of colonic irrigation? How about a nice cup of hot coffee? LOL!!

No seriously, I think it would be a great relief for a dimwitted jerkoff like you, who regularly demonstrates symptoms of severe constipation (both mentally & physically). Just trying to be courteous!

Reply
Paul

Nah, I think it’s just another one of your gay characteristics. Suggesting on more than one occasion for a man to stick something in his ass? The more I find out about you the more I want to stay the hell away. Luckily for me you are most likely on the other side of the country in San Fran.

Reply
Derf

“Nah, I think it’s just another one of your gay characteristics. Suggesting on more than one occasion for a man to stick something in his ass?”

Oh yeah?
“You know how I know you’re gay? Because you macraméd yourself a pair of jean shorts!” LOL!
(I never actually thought that quote would come in handy!)

Anyways…
You had *all* afternoon to come up with some clever insult and I get that load of shit? Some 5th grade inspired drivel? Goddamn. I want my money back, this ride sucks!

Reply
TSill

Now I see why you think Paul is an asshole Derf. I give you all the credit in the world to deal with someone like this guy. I’m waiting for this loser to start with the your momma jokes next.

Reply
Paul

Trust me, I reply to you as soon as I see them. Just didn’t expect a quick response from you.

Anyway, the gay insults are almost as played out as the drunken/retarded insults, huh? I think I will stick with them though since you have proven yourself to be so concerned about the possible constipation of other men. Derf AKA Richard Simmons….lol.

Reply
Derf

Paul, my inebriated twit!

I honestly can’t come up with anything that can rival the stupidity of that last reply. I think I’ll just let that one simmer for awhile so other readers can enjoy the unique idiocy you bring to the table!

As for the drunk bit? For the sake of humanity, I hope you *are* a pie-eyed dipshit. I simply can’t bring myself to believe it’s possible to be so goddamn stupid and sober at the same time! Say it ain’t so!

Reply
Paul

Derf can’t come up with a reply? THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!

Reply
Derf

“Now I see why you think Paul is an asshole Derf. I give you all the credit in the world to deal with someone like this guy”
Well, two things TSill. Don’t say his name or he’ll soil his diapers!
Secondly, if you stick around long enough, you can watch this drunken, schizophrenic schmuck make a complete ass of himself, over & over. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Reply
Paul

TSill really doesn’t even deserve a reply. Derf prances around this entire site with elementary insults but I am the one that is one step away from “your momma” jokes? Riiiggghhtt.

Derf tell your boyfriend I am sorry and please make him go away.

Reply
Derf

“TSill really doesn’t even deserve a reply”
I most certainly think he does. You’re just mad because you’re a thin skinned, sniveling, little bitch who can’t handle a dose of honest criticism.

Why stop there though?
You’ve got the IQ of a door knob, you constantly have your panties in a wad, you can’t debate for shit, you have no common sense whatsoever, and even your attempts at insulting people are horribly lacking. But, outside of that, you’re a great contributer to this site! LOL!!

To make it simple; You deserve all the abuse you get, you stupid ass pinhead. Now, I’m out! Adios!

Reply
Paul

Oh yeah, and I think you are an uptight, egotistical know-it-all who can’t help but call on a thesaurus to make himself sound more intelligent then he actually is. Oh yeah, and you’re gay…:)

Adios!

Reply
Derf

This is the second time in the very same email where I whip up some great insults only to be brick walled with idiotic rhetoric by a mental gimp.

Paul, common now. I verbally tear you a new asshole and you reward me with that thoughtless, scatterbrained drivel?

“Oh yeah, and you’re gay”
What the fuck is that crap?! LOL!!!! My god, you have to be the most sorry ass dipshit in the tri-state area!

Reply
Paul

Thoughtless drivel? I described you to a T.

I’ll tell you what I could do. I could start throwing around every curse I can think of, fill in thesaurus searched words in between, and then throw in statements like “beating your grandmother with a dildo” and “raping a fire hydrant with a strapon”. Now that would make me sound very intelligent, huh Derf?

The fact of the matter is that I didn’t ask for an argument with you. Hell, I wasn’t even interested in starting one with you. You seeked me out and then proceeded to attack me. I don’t have insults lined up for you, nor am I going to start thinking them up like you do. I come here to comment on emails and the worst I have ever done is call someone an idiot here and there. I could care less if you think I suck at insulting people. Not really what I’m here for.

Anyway, you may sit and wait for me to reply to another email that has nothing to do with you and then once again jump in.

Reply
Philly Swallows

“Oh yeah, and I think you are an uptight, egotistical know-it-all who can’t help but call on a thesaurus to make himself sound more intelligent then he actually is. Oh yeah, and you’re gay…:)

Adios!”

Paul, wren’t you the one that said smiley = gay? So why are you saying Derf is gay? It is under the email Buc’s fan.

Adios!

Reply
Derf

Stop your crying already! Holy Crap. Someone get this bitch a pacifier! LOL!

“I’ll tell you what I could do. I could start throwing around every curse I can think of, fill in thesaurus searched words in between,… ”
No you couldn’t. You’re entirely too much of a spastic drunken asshole to do that.
Also, what is your problem with Thesauruses? I’ve never seen someone so adamantly opposed to learning/using new words. What kind of retarded buffoon uses that as an insult towards someone else’s intellect? LOL! Jesus, you are pathetic!

“and then throw in statements like “beating your grandmother with a dildo” and “raping a fire hydrant with a strapon”.
You do realize those comments were *intended* to be obnoxiously absurd? No wait. You didn’t. Because you’re too goddamn stupid to pick up on that.

Right then!
So everday, you put on your Eagle’s tights and your cute little Eagle’s bra. Then, you come to PhillySucks and attempt to defend Philly’s sorry ass sports teams(which makes you a complete fucking idiot or a glutton for punishment). Either way, you deserve any/all verbal abuse you get.

This begs the question…
What kind of stupid ass, half-lit Philly fan would keep coming to PhillySucks, rather than going to a site/forum that might be more constructive and friendly towards Philly teams & fans? Answer that Paul, and you’ll know who the real asshole is.

Reply
Paul

Philly Swallows,

That dude copied and pasted an actual smiley to his email. Yellow and all. I was just taking a stab at that…. …lol.

Besides I had nothing else to say about his email. It was like 3 words.

Reply
Paul

Derf,

I enjoy having everyone against me. I am a fan of all Philly’s sports teams and I’m not afraid to defend them. When I announce I am a Philly fan here I am well aware that I will have everyone against me. If I carried on exactly like you but admitted I was a Philly fan everyone would call me a “typical foul mouthed Philly fan.” But since you hate Philly fans everyone loves you here a Philly Sucks. I have no problem with that. It comes with the territory. You would understand if you went to a New York sucks site.

Who knows, maybe I will grow bored of this place and find something else to do with my time. Until then I think I will stick around a while.

Reply
Jay

what. the. fuck. You guys have no life.

Reply
Paul

I’m glad you took time out of your productive life to let us know that. Thank you.

Reply
ol

How come whenever there is a anti-Philly email Derf never replies to the actual post unless someone else quoted something from it?
On the subject of people being ugly in Philly- There are 300,000,000 million people in the US. 60,000 voted. 300,000,000-60,000=299,940,000. That’s how many people who live in the US didn’t vote. 60,000 isn’t even 1/10 of the all the people who live in Philly.

Reply