From: dyszel@rider.edu
Subject: Nice LifeHey buddy nice website. Good to see you have the time to really sit down and do this. I’m suprised your not out with the friends you never had (aka the kids who picked on you in high school) or the girlfriend you’ll never have. So if you come home to your 5 cats tonight and read my e-mail I have a few things for you and all the other superfans on here to think about.
1. Anyone from New Jersey should have no vote in sports matters. You dont have a team (hockey doesnt count as a sport and the Nets will be in Brooklyn by the time you get this E-mail). You are in New Jersey for a reason so don’t act like some big New York fan or Philly fan. People from NJ are a joke so I only laugh at them when they talk about “their” sports teams.
2. I dont think I have ever met a Cowboys fan who was actually from Dallas. Dallas fans all grew up in the 90′s and remmeber Troy Aikmen and Emmit. I would say a good 75% arent even located or ever were located in the state of Texas. And I’m sure some asshole from Dallas will write back “Im from Dallas!!” (great buddy do you want a fucking parade?). People from Texas are just naturally slower and dumber than the rest of the country. Maybe they’ll understand what I’m saying in 10 years when they compute it.
3.Giants fans are 90 year old men who dont even cheer at the game. They always play at 1 o’clock because anything later they might be in bed. I go to college in New Jersey and that was a big story on the news how it was an outrage that a Giants game got moved to 4 o’clock. Half the Giants fans don’t even start watching until the Tigers or Red Sox beat the billion dollar team anyway. They all think football starts in November.
4.Yankees fans are just annoying dirty New Yorkers and more wannabees from Jersey. I hate how they people in Jersey SWEAR they are sooooo close to New York so that means they are from New York. Hey assholes the Delaware River is close to New Jersey why don’t you all jump into that.
5. The Mets should be New Jersey’s team because they epitomize New Jersey terrible and wannabee New York (aka the Yankees). I watch the Mets ruin atleast 4 different players careers a year. Whenever someone signs with the Mets i send a sympathy card to their family.
I just wanted to throw these out there cause my friend (a big “Tampa Bay” fan from Jersey) thought this website was soooo funny and HAD to show me. I’ll admit I got a good laugh and your pretty funny, but some of your followers who have E-mails on here are border line retarded. If you want anyone could send me some teams they like and when I get a chance I’ll tell them why they suck and are horrible. Don’t forget Hockey sucks and its for fags and im a diehard Philly fan but that includes the Flyers and and other Hockey team. If I want to watch a bunch of old white men (and yes I’m white, but the Nazi Hockey Leaguei s ridiculous) try to play a sport I’ll go to the local YMCA and watch them play a pickup game of basketball. Thanks for the time.